We live in a world where caring is often mistaken for weakness. Yet to truly care is one of the bravest acts we can offer. It is not sentimental softness, but a choice to show up with tenderness in places where indifference, anger, or pride might feel safer.
At The Happiness Club’s Kulunu Circle last night on Zoom, we explored this theme: The Courage to Care. The circle itself became a reminder that care is not just a feeling. It is a discipline, a practice, and a light that must be kept polished.
Caring as Presence
Courageous care begins with presence. Not the kind that tries to fix, but the kind that listens deeply. To say with our attention: “You matter, even in your mess.” It requires the humility to pause, the strength to witness, and the gentleness to hold silence without fleeing from it.
Presence is how care begins to heal. Like a crystal vase dulled by dust, our hearts grow foggy with jealousy, anger, pride, and competition. Purification: which we define tazkiyah; is simply the work of polishing, removing what clouds the heart, until it shines with care and kindness.
Boundaries that Protect Dignity
To care is not to overextend, nor to rescue others at the cost of ourselves. Courageous care draws boundaries that honour dignity: ours and theirs.
Sometimes care also asks us to speak with firmness. To say “That’s not okay” when someone is belittled or excluded. Not to punish, but to protect. Not to escalate, but to interrupt harm with grace. This blend of compassion and clarity is what makes care truly courageous.
The Inner Work of Care
We reminded ourselves: the heart is like a wound. If left unattended, it festers. Healing requires both cleansing and nourishment. In the same way, courageous care calls us to identify our own “viruses” – anger, envy, gossip, resentment; and gradually remove them.
The tools are as old as our faith: less idle talk, less excess, more remembrance. Dhikr or remembering Allah, is the polish of the heart. It softens, steadies, and strengthens us to care without burning out.
Why This Matters
When care is courageous, it transforms both the giver and the receiver. It creates spaces of safety where trust can grow. It restores dignity where shame has spread. And it allows us to live not as consumers of each other, but as companions: each holding a thread in the tapestry of mercy.
Our workplaces, families, and communities do not need more competition. They need more courage to care. The kind that listens. The kind that sets boundaries. The kind that interrupts harm. The kind that rests and forgives, so it can keep going.
This is not the work of a single night, or a single circle. It is the slow and patient polishing of the heart. A process of becoming calmer, more grateful, less attached to material things, more aware of the One who placed us here as His stewards.
Smile, and let smile.
Smile and Let Smile 