We don’t talk enough about the quiet fear many young professionals carry: the fear of “bosses.” Not the healthy respect that comes with learning and accountability. A fear that shrinks your voice, keeps you guessing, and turns every message into an alarm.
I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it in conversations, in the way eyes dart to phones, in the way “yes” is said before a thought has room to breathe.
When Relationships Turn Transactional
Too many of our relationships at work have become transactions: delivering for approval, result for access.
When the relationship is mainly a metric, everything becomes performance. You’re always on your toes. You speak to be seen, not to be understood. You show up to please, not to grow.
It’s sad because it empties our work of meaning. It also erodes trust. People start to avoid calls, delay replies, or disappear after outcomes wobble. Not out of disrespect: but out of fear.
What Young People Are Up Against
Young people today are more restricted in some ways than earlier generations were.
Yes, they have more information and tools. But less space – physical, psychological, emotional.
Constant notifications. Endless comparisons. The pressure to curate a persona that is always “on.”
When space shrinks, fear grows. When fear grows, relationships default to transaction. And when relationships are transactional, the heart retreats.
We can do better.
From Transaction to High-Value Relationships
High-value relationships are not about hierarchy; they’re about humanity. They create room: enough room to try, to fail, to ask for help, to learn out loud.
Here’s how we can start.
If you lead (formal title or not)
- Set the tone early. Say what you value more than outcomes: honesty, effort, learning. Then prove it when outcomes slip.
- Normalize “bad news early.” Celebrate early flags the same way you celebrate wins. “Thank you for telling me now” builds courage.
- Repair quickly. When tension happens, pick up the phone. Don’t outsource hard conversations to emails.
If you’re a young professional
- Choose candor over guessing. “I’m worried I let you down: can we debrief?” Courage invites compassion.
- Build allies, not just approvals. Invest in peers and mentors who care about your growth, not just your output.
- Practice dignified follow-through. If something fails, close the loop. The loop you close today becomes the bridge you need tomorrow.
The Culture We Choose
Our faith and our shared humanity both point to the same truth: the dignity of a person is not the same as the delivery of a task. When we treat people as image-bearers and not instruments, fear loosens its grip. Joy returns to work. And excellence, becomes easier.
So let’s widen the space.
Let’s design teams where questions are welcomed, where “I don’t know yet” is seen as a beginning, not a failure, and where leaders measure success not only by what was done, but by who we became while doing it.
Try this, this week
- Send one note of appreciation that isn’t tied to output: “I value how you think.”
- Host a 15-minute “learning circle”: one challenge, one insight, no blame.
- End your day with a two-line journal: Where did I choose trust over transaction? What space did I create for someone else?
Let’s build high value relationships
Let’s build workplaces where hearts are less afraid, conversations are more human, and relationships are high value: so, our young people can thrive, not just perform.
Smile and Let Smile 