By Mohamed Shihab
Chief Happiness Officer, The Happiness Club
In today’s ever-evolving social fabric, conversations about divorce often sit quietly on the margins, whispered behind closed doors or layered beneath shame. Yet, one conversation with a young person reminded me of something profound: divorce is not just the unraveling of a legal bond: it is the dismantling of an emotional architecture. And its impact on children runs deep, reshaping not just how they see relationships, but how they see themselves.
As someone who works in emotional well-being and transformation, I believe our communities must rise to this challenge: not with judgment or solutions alone, but with presence, empathy, and wisdom.
🧠 Divorce and the Echoes of Social Judgment
While most narratives about divorce focus on the dynamics between the spouses, there’s often a less visible instigator: judgment from others. In many cases, the seeds of separation are sown through comments passed by friends, family, or society at large: unexamined criticisms of one partner that gradually fracture the relationship foundation.
Whether it’s gossip questioning someone’s loyalty, cultural expectations that idealize one partner’s behavior, or community bias rooted in gender roles, these judgments create emotional weight that couples must carry. Over time, these perceptions become internalized, turning shared spaces of trust into battlegrounds of misunderstanding.
This silent meddling by society doesn’t just impact the couple: it alters the trajectory of the family. When one spouse is unfairly vilified, healing becomes so much more difficult. The relationship becomes defined by outside narratives rather than inside truths. And as parents lose connection, children lose their emotional compass.
If we truly want to foster well-being, we must challenge this societal habit. Instead of condemning or choosing sides, communities must create environments of curious compassion: spaces where people listen not to judge, but to understand.
👶 Children: Navigating Unspoken Turmoil
In the wake of separation, it is the children who often find themselves lost in the silence between opposing sides. While adults may have access to counseling, support groups, or even the vocabulary to make sense of what’s happening, children usually do not. They feel the tension, absorb the confusion, and construct meanings from partial truths.
In my conversation with the young person, this was especially clear. They spoke not just of missing a parent: but of missing safety. They described the discomfort of hearing opposing narratives, of being encouraged to “choose a side,” and of feeling invisible when their emotional needs weren’t prioritized.
Children thrive on consistency, security, and unconditional affection. Divorce disrupts this balance. The routines change, the relationships shift, and often, emotions go unspoken. Even when intentions are good, children may interpret conflict as something they caused or could have prevented: creating internal narratives of guilt or inadequacy.
But this doesn’t have to be the outcome.
Healing begins with awareness and action. Families can:
- Acknowledge children’s emotional experiences without dismissing them.
- Invite open-ended conversations rather than assuming what they feel.
- Avoid using children as messengers or emotional allies in disagreements.
- Create rituals of stability: whether it’s daily check-ins, shared meals, or predictable routines.
- Engage trained counselors who specialize in family and child psychology.
And at the community level, we must hold space for families to fall apart and rebuild without stigma. Schools, religious institutions, and social service providers can play a transformative role by normalizing discussions about relational transitions and training adults in trauma-informed care.
🌱 Moving Forward with Grace
The aftermath of divorce, like the process itself, is layered and nonlinear. Some families find renewed connection, while others maintain respectful distance. There’s no single roadmap: but there can be guiding values: compassion, dignity, and care.
We must move away from seeing divorce as a failure and toward understanding it as a realignment. Sometimes relationships end not because love disappears, but because the environment becomes unsafe or unfit for growth. What matters most is how we respond: to each other and to our children.
Let us choose presence over projection. Let us choose fairness over favoritism. And most of all, let us ensure that children do not bear the emotional costs of adult wounds.
In programs like Kulunu Circle and Synergy Circle ofThe Happiness Club, we aim to create spaces where conversations like these can unfold freely. Whether through art, storytelling, or guided reflection, the goal is the same: helping people navigate emotional complexity with openness and support.
Because healing is not about perfection: it’s about showing up, again and again, with gentle courage.
Smile and Let Smile 