Tag Archives: Mental Health

Drama of hope

I wish I could
I wish I were
I wish I had
I wish I never

Wishes for a future
That would be bright
Full of happiness and joy
Void of fear and rejection

The pain beneath
The hurt of heart
With a crippling numbness
Designed to stabilize

The mind is the magic
The wind the potion
That carries the burden
To the heavens beyond

I wish I were
I wish I had
I wish I could
I wish I never

The design is beautiful
The art is crumpled
Reality is a drama
Of an ounce of hope

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Posted by on October 17, 2012 in Poems


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#DQT: Dedicated Quality Time

After reading one of my #DQT tweets, a friend asked me – what is DQT? She had not read my previous tweets. Since then, I have had this question asked from me on several occasions. So, I thought of writing this post.

Most people would agree that it is important for us to give quality time to our children and loved ones. There are perceived benefits to the child and others who receive such quality time. It is believed that such quality time empowers the recipients and results in better livelihoods.

However, oftentimes it is believed that quality time can only be afforded by people with adequate resources and means at their disposal, especially time and money. When the subject is discussed, I have many a times heard complaints that quality time is not possible due to extended working hours or having to live in cramped households and many other such reasons. This may be true, I agree. That however, is true for those who believe that quality time can only be given, when certain conditions beyond ones control are available.

I believe otherwise. I am a firm believer in that, our conditions are a function of our choices and decisions. That the destiny we have arrived at is a result of our mental paradigm. It is how we see our condition and thereof.

My argument then, is that dedicated quality time has only one essential element. That there has to be a planning and rehearsal phase, in which the person engages in  planning and preparing for a dedicated quality time (DQT) moment with a clear focus on what is to be achieved and how it will be achieved.

WHAT is to be achieved is happiness and joy to the recipient, in my opinion. A feeling of trust and self worth that will give a boost to the recipient, that results in a rejuvenated sense of life and well being. A sense of contentment and strength that is fulfilling and inspirational. This may differ from person to person, but the sum total would be a sense of well being.

HOW involves two things – what is going to be said (or not said) and what will be done (or not done). In a conversation or a face-to-face or a heart-to-heart engagement between two people or more; meaningful and mutually fulfilling communication is only possible when there is sufficient emotional space to comprehend how an idea or a message is communicated. What is said is also enhanced by what is done, and therefore it’s importance.

Once the what and the how are designed and practiced and reflected upon and modified for best results, it is time for action – to execute the plan to give quality time. I believe that best results are achieved when such quality time is dedicated exclusively to the person or persons who are the recipients of it.

Thus executed is what I like to call Dedicated Quality Time or #DQT. Such will not have to be long. It can be as short as three minutes and can have far reaching positive outcomes. I recommend that we plan a DQT moment with a loved one once a day to strengthen our emotional well being and social competencies. The results are sure to be awesome.


I hope that sufficiently explains what I have in mind when I use the hashtag #DQT – Dedicated Quality Time.

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Posted by on May 24, 2012 in Random Thoughts


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One Man in a Dark Hole…

Day before yesterday, I was having a late lunch at Baazaaru Hotaa and as I finished lunch a person I know walked into the hotaa. He saw me and came towards me. He said that he was hoping to meet me, walked over and sat in a chair beside me.

He is a person I know from an island I have been on often and am familiar with. This person (let’s call him Ahmed) told me that he wanted my help to find a way to send a younger brother to Guraidhoo, where the Center for the Disabled is. I told him the best would be to visit the Ministry of Health and Family. And that they would be the best party to help, as they are the party responsible for social security.

Ahmed asked me where this Ministry is. I gave him directions and explained to him that it is the office without a nameboard in front of Food Bank on Sosun Magu. He told me that he has been there and that they said the center is full and there is nothing they can do. He said he’s been going there for the last eight months. And the ministry responsible for social security tells him there’s nothing they can do!

I suggested that he speak with the MP for his constituency, in that case. He said that he spoke to the MP face to face prior to the recently held local council elections. According to Ahmed, the MP told him that he had spoken to the relevant authorities and the needful would be done. That was just after the elections. Ahmed has been waiting for that to happen, till now.

He said that he brought his brother to Male’ this time and was going from place to place to find away to put him in a shelter where he could be taken care of. The thing is that there is only one such place in the country and they are refusing to take him in. He is out of options!

Ahmed said that his brother has beaten up a family member and has also been creating trouble with the neighbors. The neighbors then take up issue with Ahmed’s family. Ahmed says he understands the anger of the neighbors. According to Ahmed, his brother has at times put lighted cigarette butts into dresses of his children too. The women folk at home are not able to look after him.

According to Ahmed his brother is psychiatric patient. There is no way for him to earn a living when he has to look after his brother by his side every minute of the day. He cannot go to work because he will not be able to chain up the brother. Ahmed says, if the brother is put in a room and locked he will break up everything inside. So he is completely helpless and running out of ends and means.

Ahmed expects me to help him find a way. What do I tell him!

I tried to explain to Ahmed that this was not something that an individual like I can help. Also, to explain to him that I was not in a position to influence the decisions of the government agencies who were responsible for this.

The case of Ahmed is a case of many. Yet, there is a lack of personnel in the health sector to cater for psychiatric patients and those suffering from mental health issues, in the form or doctors and social workers. We seem to be waiting for the situation to explode or for God to take care of it! The rising counts of domestic violence and self-inflicted harm and even suicides and attempted suicides, do not seem to alarm those who have taken responsibility for it.

Perhaps, it is the collective Maldivian psyche that God High and Above will take care of us without an effort, just like He saved us with an explosion that went sour.

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Posted by on June 22, 2011 in Society


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