I wish I could
I wish I were
I wish I had
I wish I never
Wishes for a future
That would be bright
Full of happiness and joy
Void of fear and rejection
The pain beneath
The hurt of heart
With a crippling numbness
Designed to stabilize
The mind is the magic
The wind the potion
That carries the burden
To the heavens beyond
I wish I were
I wish I had
I wish I could
I wish I never
The design is beautiful
The art is crumpled
Reality is a drama
Of an ounce of hope
After reading one of my #DQT tweets, a friend asked me – what is DQT? She had not read my previous tweets. Since then, I have had this question asked from me on several occasions. So, I thought of writing this post.
Most people would agree that it is important for us to give quality time to our children and loved ones. There are perceived benefits to the child and others who receive such quality time. It is believed that such quality time empowers the recipients and results in better livelihoods.
However, oftentimes it is believed that quality time can only be afforded by people with adequate resources and means at their disposal, especially time and money. When the subject is discussed, I have many a times heard complaints that quality time is not possible due to extended working hours or having to live in cramped households and many other such reasons. This may be true, I agree. That however, is true for those who believe that quality time can only be given, when certain conditions beyond ones control are available.
I believe otherwise. I am a firm believer in that, our conditions are a function of our choices and decisions. That the destiny we have arrived at is a result of our mental paradigm. It is how we see our condition and thereof.
My argument then, is that dedicated quality time has only one essential element. That there has to be a planning and rehearsal phase, in which the person engages in planning and preparing for a dedicated quality time (DQT) moment with a clear focus on what is to be achieved and how it will be achieved.
WHAT is to be achieved is happiness and joy to the recipient, in my opinion. A feeling of trust and self worth that will give a boost to the recipient, that results in a rejuvenated sense of life and well being. A sense of contentment and strength that is fulfilling and inspirational. This may differ from person to person, but the sum total would be a sense of well being.
HOW involves two things – what is going to be said (or not said) and what will be done (or not done). In a conversation or a face-to-face or a heart-to-heart engagement between two people or more; meaningful and mutually fulfilling communication is only possible when there is sufficient emotional space to comprehend how an idea or a message is communicated. What is said is also enhanced by what is done, and therefore it’s importance.
Once the what and the how are designed and practiced and reflected upon and modified for best results, it is time for action – to execute the plan to give quality time. I believe that best results are achieved when such quality time is dedicated exclusively to the person or persons who are the recipients of it.
Thus executed is what I like to call Dedicated Quality Time or #DQT. Such will not have to be long. It can be as short as three minutes and can have far reaching positive outcomes. I recommend that we plan a DQT moment with a loved one once a day to strengthen our emotional well being and social competencies. The results are sure to be awesome.
I hope that sufficiently explains what I have in mind when I use the hashtag #DQT – Dedicated Quality Time.
Mohamed Shihab
Smile and Let Smile 